April 23, 2016: Endearing Red Pain

I hate it when you shut down on me like that. 
I hated myself not shutting you out of my life. 

I hate it because I'm the reason you do.
I apologize and forgive myself for even thinking that.

You repeatedly talk about how much you don't like talking about feelings, and sad things. 
I repeatedly listened to my guilt over my heart. 

You think you're the one who's afraid of scaring me away?
I know you were more afraid I'd walk away. 

I'm terrified you're the one who'll get fed up and walk out forever. 
I was more terrified waking up naked next you, feeling pain; red pain. 

I am so completely in love you. 
You fucked this up. You fucked me up. 

 

Written by Amanda B Hansen
2016 April 23

 

Amanda Hansen

Amanda B Hansen is a writer & poet who currently resides in Omaha, NE. 
She is a recent graduate of the University of Nebraska at Omaha. She holds a Bachelor's in General Studies. Her certifications include English, Music, & Creative Writing. 

Amanda currently splits her time being a full-time Customer Service Adviser at her local Walgreen's, and being an Editor/Social Media/Writing Contributor for Fine Lines Journal in Omaha.